26 June 2007

Down we go!

Today in Fundamentals class we got to drop NG tubes! (Not on each other, but on manequins.) A NG tube is a nasogastric tube that goes through the nose and down into the stomach for enteral feeding or suctioning gastric secretions. At first I was a little apprehensive, especially when I was reading the chapter. (I actually got all 50-something pages read before class!!) Then we watched a video on it and Prof. Arnold really explained it well and we got to handle the different types of tubes and stuff, and then we got to practice on the manequins. Once I had the equipment in my hand, I was fine. I got it down with no problem at all (well, it was a little hard at first to advance the tube past the nasal cavity, but after that, it was great!). I don't know what I was so worried about, it felt like I had been doing it for so long. I "explained" everything that I was doing to the manequin and away we went! It was so much fun too. Of course, I know it will be really different when you have a real person who is gagging and possibly vomiting and stuff, but just like with drawing blood, it gets easier with practice. Man, nursing is so much fun! I love it! And Mike is coming over later tonight after Thomas gets home from school and I'm going to practice on him. I'm not actually going to drop an NG tube on him, but just go through all the motions and mimic everything like I was going to, you know - explain the procedure like I was going to and stuff. He's so willing, it's wonderful! And I get to spend time with him!

Other things . . . I went on a date last night with Mike after I went to April's house (after school). We met up at Tinsel Town and saw Rise of the Silver Surfer. We decided to see the 2050 showing of the movie so we could sit and talk for 30 or so minutes before the show started. It was so great to be able to talk to him and spend time with him. We had a lot of fun joking around and stuff. I love being around him and hanging out with him. He is really becoming my best friend and not just my boyfriend. The movie was pretty good - not as good as the first one, but I liked it. After the movie we walked back to our vehicles and stuff. It was so hard not to kiss him; I really wanted to lay one on him. I restrained myself though and we just held hands. Sometimes I feel like I can be patient and wait and other times I can't even look at him because I want to kiss him so badly. I can definitely see where kissing would be opening the gate though. I am glad that we haven't kissed yet, because I know that if we had, then I would probably be thinking about how badly I want to do other things to him . . . so I guess thinking about how much I want to kiss him is keeping me from thinking about how much I want to do other things as well. I know that probably sounds kind of weird, but oh well. I'm a weird person that has very different thought patterns.

Well, I have a test tomorrow that I need to study for, so I should probably stop typing here. I could go on and on . . . .

I Cor 10:13
Phil 4:13

25 June 2007

No way! Way!

I just checked my myspace, and just happened to look at my profile page (I don't do that very often) and guess which verse is my verse of the day?!?

Phil 4:6-7!!! Isn't God SO awesome how He does that??? (I just wrote a blog about 3 minutes ago about how I need to do that!)

Man, I love Jesus so much. He is just so awesome!! He is always reminding me of what I should be doing, in everything!

***Now only if Jesus were tangible so I could give Him a great big HUG!*** :)



I want to apologize for my angry ranting earlier. I realize how childish it was and I also realize that I was not fully relying on God for what I need and for fiances and things of such nature. It wasn't right of me. The Lord will provide. I know that and in the past I have trusted and He has always come through ~ why would this time be any different? I just need to trust.

Phil 4:6-7

~ Tegan

Whoa . . . that was intense!

The rollercoaster goes down, it goes up, it goes down. No, I didn't go to Six Flags with my friends today (I wish). Mike and I met with Abby and Asher for counseling (they are mentoring us) as we go through our marriage prep workbook (That was way better than Six Flags!!) I thought it was really great, very intense. I do feel like it is benefitting already though as I have gotten to know more things about Mike, things that might not have been brought up. Mike and I had previously set boundaries and we had started doing some things that are pretty intimate (such as him touching my face or playing with my hair), and Asher and Abby had suggested that we not do those things since it kind of opens the doors (not their words) to let in sexual sin. So we decided to take their advice and not do those things. I have to admit, I had kind of thought that it might be taking things a little too far, kind a side-step to the avoiding impurity issue, but I really love it when Mike touches my face, so I hadn't really said anything. I should have, I know. I am so glad that Abby and Asher are there to mentor us and to help us and help protect our purity. It's so awesome to have them as friends. I feel very blessed and I think that Mike does as well.

I do feel kind of bad about something else. I kind of feel like I'm not making Mike as much of a priority in my life as I should. Somehow, even though I really want to spend time with him, our time kind of gets pushed to the background. I DON'T want to do that to him. I don't know how it keeps happening. I shared with him how I felt about this and he agreed, which really convicted me even more (and made me feel even worse), but I am glad that he was not afraid to tell me how he felt. So I want to make it a priority to spend more time with Mike, not necessarily alone time, but just quality time. Even if it's a phone conversation where I'm not doing anything else, (like driving). Mike is very important to me and I love him very much. I don't want to lose him because I start to take him for granted. You can't take a person that you love for granted, it just doesn't work like that. Eventually resentment will rise and build up and then things get bad. School and work are important, but Mike is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. School and work will fade away, but Mike won't and I don't want him to fade away either. He is a really great man (one I don't feel I am deserving of, but the Lord has put us together, so here we are and I gratefully and graciously accept Mike with all that I am). I want our relationship to grow strong in Christ and I know that a relationship is hard work that you have to invest time and energy into. And not just in the beginning, but throughout the whole relationship. There can be no complacency (in my opinion). Mike is so wonderful and I want to show him all the ways that I can love him (as a courting couple anyway, for now).

Well, it's 0015 and I have to get up for school at 0600, so I probably should stop writing for now. :) I did get all my dosage calculation homework (and laundry) finished tonight after movie night. Yay!! :) The reading is not finished, but I'm beginning to wonder if the reading every really gets completely finished . . .

Ce la vie, eh? Oui, c'est la vie. Mais, j'adore ma vie! (Et, j'aime Mike!! )

Au revoir! ~ Tegan

22 June 2007


Thomas got an interview for a job at the health sciences center on Monday!! yay!! Answered prayer! Now he just has to show up on time, have a good interview, and oh yeah, shave . . . :)

21 June 2007

Answered Prayer!

Thomas got a job! It's just a two day job doing yard work - but it's a job! Yay!! Praise the Lord!! :) That should bring in at least $150, so that's almost his car payment, so that's good. I feel a little less stressed.

On the downside, Thomas is now sick with what I have. Sucks.

19 June 2007

Apparently I don't have enough on my plate . . .

So yesterday morning I woke up (with all intentions of getting to school a little early to get some reading in but those intentions being waned out by the winning over of sleep), got up and went to school in Edmond. I felt fine. Just fine. Class was good - last lecture before the test. After class I headed over to the library to prepare a Bible study for my friend April (we meet on Monday nights together), and I started to feel a little tickle in my throat. This did not bode well. I ate a granola bar, drank some water, continued on with the studying. Since Mike had the day off, he offered to come up to Edmond and eat lunch with me. A very pleasant offering which I definitely accepted. :) So we met for lunch at Jimmy's Egg on 2nd street. I had an appetite, but it was accompanied by a head ache and a sore neck and back and the starting of some congestion. Definitely not boding well. I just really seemed to feel worse and worse through lunch. I shared with Mike some verses that I had found that reminded me of the talk we had on Sunday and how I felt that I was overcoming temptation and that temptation wasn't as strong as it had been. And how tribulations produces perserverance and perseverance produces hope and hope does not disappoint (very uplifting verses - all credit to Jesus for showing me that yesterday). :) Anyway, I had to go to class after lunch, and the progression on my anti-wellness just continued to creep slowly downward so that by the end of the day, I just felt really miserable. I was all stuffed up, my neck and back were so sore it hurt to move in any kind of way and I had a sore throat. So I canceled with April, which I felt really bad about, and came home to study for my test that I had this morning and write a paper I had due this morning. (All of this was yesterday.) I laid down for a little bit when I got home and then Mike came over shortly after 1800 to help me study. I made dinner for him and Thomas (complete with fruit (ooh - yes fruit)) and we ate dinner. I actually felt better immediately after eating, although I had a hard time finishing my dinner, but about an hour after that, my health just went downhill with a strong tailwind. And I had to study and write a paper. So I went through some ROM exercises on Mike (he's such a great, willing pt to practice on) and practiced different bed positions. (All of this was on the floor in the living room, not on my bed.) I asked him if he could take a look at my printer (so I could print the paper I STILL had yet to write) and he said he would. So while he was doing that, I just curled up in a little ball in bed (by now my stomach had joined the battle against my good health, and it wasn't fun.) After a little while I just felt so bad I had to ask Mike to leave. So he did (he looked so worried - I felt really bad). I went back to bed and attempted to study my notes, but I eventually just passed out, notebook in hand with all the lights on. I woke up about two hours later, just completely drenched in sweat and my stomach really hurting. And I STILL had to write that paper . . . so I went to bed (sans the written paper) and decided to get up really early in the morning. Since I didn't really get any "good" studying in, I just prayed that I would remember everything from lecture and lab. I woke up in the morning and felt a lot better (the head ache, back and neck aches were gone). I took some more medicine, took a shower, and wrote my paper before dashing off to Abby's. It really sucks being sick when you are already so busy. Abby's computer was on the fritz, so I just crossed my fingers and hoped the computer lab in the nursing building would be open. I got to class in time to have about 4 minutes to study and then we started the test. Whenever I'm all stuffed up and sick, I have a really hard time thinking clearly. I become really forgetful (I almost forgot my purse twice today in class) and I forgot my stethoscope for class too. Anyway, I just hope I didn't misread any questions/answers. I don't think I had a fever, so that's good. I took my time and read every question at least twice. I think I did okay. I know I missed one for sure (from the conversation in the hallway that some of had after we finished the test before the next class.) Oh well, ce la vie. And I did get my paper printed out after the test, just in time to turn it in. :)
I am now at the library because I was feeling fine after lab and was going to study, but thought I would come here first to write a little bit. Well, as I'm writing, I'm not feeling too great, so I think I'll go home and take a nap, and then go to Rose's library to study tonight. We'll see.

So long for now, the busy, and still not feeling that great, Tegan

A Cardinal Lesson

On Saturday (16Jun07), I sat in the courtyard at Rose State doing my homework. While doing my homework, along came a pair of cardinals - one male and one female. The female flew to the ground, hopping around, looking for food. The male cardinal, in all his bright redness, perched on a branch about ten feet above the ground or so and intently watched his mate, protecting her and looking out for her. Whichever direction that she went, he turned, ever wary, and followed her movements with his protective eye. Then she flew off and her mate quickly and closely followed behind.

So it is with our Father in Heaven - we have automous freedom to fly along, surving in our world, and He is always there, watching over us, protecting us, always close by. Ready to come and intervene on our behalf should we need it. Or perhaps, you could use the analogy that the Lord gives us [women] a mate to be there with us. A strong, bright character who will always be there to watch over us and protect us as we go about doing things to take care of our families. Independent each, yet functioning as a team for the great good of the family and Jesus Christ. Indeed, one could probably not survive without the other.

15 June 2007

Tinker AFB airshow

~~This is Mike and I at the Stars and Stripes Airshow last Saturday on Tinker AFB (9Jun2007). ~~
We also went with Michelle and Jake. It was a lot of fun, although I got so incredibly sunburned (as did Michelle). The planes were a lot of fun to see. There were E3's (AWACS) of course, along with a cargo plane, some fighters and the B2 stealth bomber, which was really cool. We got to see it flying and then they also had it on display. When we all toured the AWACS, I got to sit in one of the seats and put the mask on. It was really hard to talk with the mask on - I can't imagine having to work like that and communicate with the other flyers in the air and stuff. Michelle, Mike and Jake passed on trying on the oxygen mask - I can't imagine why. :) It was a lot of fun though. Seeing the Blue Angels was really neat too. They fly in the most amazing formations. It was really great walking around with Mike too. Just holding hands, doing normal things, hanging out together. :)

Well, I must go for now and get back to work. :)

13 June 2007

(To the tune of Ratt) Bang your head . . .

. . . against the wall.

Wow - what a whirlwind week it's been. And it's only Wednesday. I think this semester is going to be one of those semesters that flies by while at the same time going by really really slowly. Now in the second week of school, I am really feeling the load of my school work (mostly all the reading), but I think I can handle it. Work was incredibly busy today. I got a lot done though ~ so I feel it was a productive day.

I would like to use this blog for, among other things, documenting my time during nursing school. My fundamentals class is so fun. And I feel like I am learning so much. Being fed with a firehose comes to mind . . . this week we are learning about mobility and how immobility affects each of the systems. I can really see the holistic approach to healing that nurses emcompasses ~ it's really neat. Now, I just need to remember everything I am learning . . . among other things in mobility, we learned how to teach a client about using crutches (we actually had crutches races using the four different gaits to use with crutches - my team won! Yay!). That was a lot of fun. We also learned hospital bed making (with a person in the bed), rolling a client to different positions. moving a client from bed to chair, bed to bed and we practiced falling. Yes, one at a time with our partners, we walked around with each other pretending to have weakness on one side and then falling. The partner "leading" the client, had to catch them and lower them to the ground. Yep, it's going to take some practice. Any victi-I mean volunteers out there? :D I actually practiced doing the range of motion exercises with Mike. That was a lot of fun. He just laid there on the floor in my living room and I moved all of limbs through the range of motion of the joint. I think he found it relaxing. Of course as I'm doing it, I'm saying to myself, flexion, extenion, dorsiflexion, plantarflexion (the last two for the feet). I really am a kinetic learner, so that was really great.
My other class in Intro to Nursing which is comprised of two parts. The first, which we are in now, is a history of nursing. I love history, so this part is a lot of fun. The second part is nursing assessment. I think we'll be learning how to do care plans and all of that kind of thing. I'm sure I'll be living care plans for the next two years. We actually watched a video in class called "Sentimental Women Need Not Apply", which is a brief history of nursing. I really enjoyed the video a lot. I told Abby that I would like to rent it from the library if they have it and show it her and the girls. I think Caylee is old enough to get something from it. Michelle might like it as well.
I can really see where the whole "care plans" and the purpose of them is going to come into play, even though we haven't even mentioned them in class yet. Nursing is holistic healing of the client and by doing a care plan, you have to take into account every system and also their mental and social and spiritual well-being. It's all so exciting. I can see where nursing school is going to be a tremendous amount of work, but that's okay. I'm looking forward to it. I am by no means a stranger to hard work.

On a different note, this past weekend was the Stars and Stripes Salute - the airshow at Tinker Air Force Base. I went on Saturday afternoon with Mike, Jake and Michelle. I will post pics after I get them developed. I had so much fun. It was really great to be able to spend time with Mike, Michelle and Jake. We toured the AWACS, so I got to see where Joe, Kyle and James go when they fly for work and such. I actually got to sit in one of the seats and put the mask on - that was a lot of fun. Michelle got a picture. Michelle got to sit in Joe's seat too, where he works, so that was really cool. I got a pic of her pretending to me asleep since Joe said he sleeps so much on the flight - it was really funny. I also got to sit in the pilot's seat in the cockpit, which was really cool. We also saw the Blue Angels perform, which was really amazing. Michelle and I also got toasted at the airshow. I was really worried that she was getting over heated and was worried about the baby as well. Neither of us had any cash, so we couldn't buy water either.

Well - I need to stop procrastinating and get on with my homework for tonight. I want to get to bed at a decent hour tonight so I won't be so tired. I've only been getting about 5-6 hours of sleep a night, and my body isn't used to it yet. It will just take time though. :)

Ta ta for now . . . ~ Tegan

08 June 2007

Another Step in the Journey

Last night Mike and I went to Mardel's and about the following book: "Preparing for Marriage: the Complete Guide to Help you Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love". I am so excited! And scared. We met in the Mardel's parking lot (I came from work even though we met at 1930), and gave each other the usual starry-eyed gaze and smile. (Sometimes when I look up at him it's like he's the only other person in the world and everything else seems to fade away - noise, surroundings, visual distractions - I've never really experienced anything like it.) Anyway, we went inside to the book section and searched for the relationships/marriage section. We finally found it after we had walked up and down all the other aisles. We already knew what the book was called and about because Kristin, a friend, had told me about it. (Kristin volunteers at LifeChurch in the Ark (4 y.o. class) in the service after I do, so our times overlap and we talk about different things.) Well, we were standing in the aisle, and I think it seemed to us that all of the books about sex in marriage and so on seemed to stick right out. Since we are both trying to stay sexually pure in thought as well as deed, that was a bit of a distraction. But halfway down on the shelf - there it was - two copies, bright white and shining and waiting for us. So we picked up the books, looked through them, decided that was the one we wanted to get (we did look at a few others as well). I remember standing there looking at the cover with this giant word "marriage" staring right at me. Marriage. Yes, I love Mike very much and sometimes I feel like I could marry him tomorrow if he asked me. Then reality will get a hold of me and I am so grateful that Mike wants to take his time. I'm so glad that he is so level headed and wants to take the time to make sure that we do things right and that we don't rush into anything. I love that he leads the relationship in that way. That shows me that he is in this for real, for the rest of his life ~ our lives. I know that marriage is quite the commitment. I didn't understand that really the first time around (I hate that I can say that), but now I know that marriage is so much more than two people living together who love each other. I know that marriage is hard work - it is a continuous commitment that you have to work at every day. I also bought "the Five Love Languages" so I can find out what my "love language" is and what Mike's is as well. I have a pretty good idea of what mine is, but I really have no idea how Mike likes to be shown love. I know that one of the way he shows love is by touch - and I really like that. (By touch, I mean holding my hand, or stroking my arm, or playing with my hair or touching my face.)

So we have taken another step in the [Lord willing] journey of a lifetime together. We started out as just knowing each other in Bible study. Then we became friends and then one day a simple little myspace comment started it all. I used to do dinners every week for the Bible study and one night he wasn't there and I sent him a comment inquiring. It was all quite innocent and since he said he would be there, I was curious as to what had happened. (Like I would have been with any of my friends.) And he sent me a really long email explaining what was going on in his life and at the end of that email was a prayer request. So I started praying for him and what was specifically going on in his life. And he started praying for me. And praying led to talking and emailing and more emailing and talking and more praying. And then Bible study sharing occassionally and verse sharing. And then practicing memory verses together with Abby and Asher on Thursday nights. Before our friendship had started growing, I remmeber very distinctly thinking that I was fine being single for the rest of my life, just serving the Lord in whatever He had planned for my life. I had a mision trip to Honduras coming up at the time and I did not want to be distracted with any thoughts of a man at all. So basically I had written off any thought of a husband or potential there-of. I was (and still am) very happy in my season of singleness. I had finally learned contentment in whatever the Lord had for me. And here I was, finding myself praying for this man and I saw our friendship growing. ~~~ Well, I went to Honduras on the mission trip and it was amazing. Seeing the Lord work there and in the people was completely amazing. While I was in Honduras, I missed Mike. I missed his daily emails and talking to him. So about 4 or 5 days into the mission, I sent him a text message. And we found that we could text each other. So I found myself texting this man when I was in Central America. When I returned and walked through the terminal of the airport, I couldn't wait to see him. I knew that my other friends would be waiting for me (Sarah, Kyle and Michelle), but I didn't think Mike would be able to make it. I understand the reasoning and it was fine. My friends were there waiting for me when I arrived and THERE WAS MIKE! I hugged all my friends and I especially gave Mike a big hug. I really wanted to just wrap my arms around him and not let go, but I couldn't do that. And I introduced him to my friend Kim that I had made on the trip (I had mentioned Mike to her, and I think she could tell how I felt about him, even though I hadn't admitted it quite yet to myself.)

After that, I started testing Mike to see what kind of heart he had, what his intentions and motivations were and so on and so forth. Every little test I had for him, he just blew me away. Everytime Jer 33:3 would come to mind. I told him about things from my past to give him an out, and he only accepted me unconditionally and forgave me. I looked for faults that I couldn't live with and found none. I found that Mike was a man with a heart for Christ first, a man seeking Christ first in all that he does, a man with a servant heart for Christ with a heart for missions as well. And in every other way, Mike is more than I could ask or imagine. I could go on and on about that, but I won't.

On Sunday night, May 13th, at Brahms, Mike asked me if he could court me. I said yes, of course. :) So now we are courting. It's so amazing.

So anyway, this is my blog for now about Mike. I'll try to not to blog too much about Mike. Though he is a big part of my life, he's not my whole life. :)

There are many sides to the force of Tegan :)

07 June 2007

A Day of Firsts

I actually wrote this Monday night (4Jun07) some time after 2300:

Well, I had my first day of nursing classes at UCO today – my unofficial start to nursing school, if you will. It was a day I had been waiting for for many years for several different reasons. First, I got to go to school all day, during the day without having to worry about work or money or paying bills. I haven’t been able to do that since my Junior in high school – that was 9 years ago. Second, I was taking nursing classes – I am on my way to being a nurse! I am so excited about being a nurse! It felt so great to be sitting in a classroom first thing in the morning instead of last thing during the day. For the last four and a half years, I have been going to school at night, after a long day at work. Two, three, four nights a week. Then I would go home and do the house-hold thing. When I first started going to school, I was married and I had a spouse to take care of, if you could call it that. Then I got divorced, and in some ways things got easier and in other ways, things got harder. Life was good though. I had a vigorous, structured schedule and I stuck to it. Work – Monday through Friday 8-5, then to school until 8:30pm, two or more nights a week. Homework after school and on weekends. Occassionally I worked the second or third job on weekends as well. I didn’t have many friends or any kind of social life, and that was all right. Now I have friends, actually as I write this, I am surrounded by friends and family – my brother Thomas, Kyle, James and Mike, are all watching some kind of movie in the living room. Even though it was a really long first day at school (6 hours of instruction in the class room) with seven hours of studying/reading scattered between and after classes, along with the 20 plus mile commute one way to school and taking care of sick friend, I have completed my assignments for the day (for the most part); I am at least prepared for class tomorrow morning, and now I am free to write. Tired as I may be, it is a freeing kind of tired. I love it! I am pursing and education in a field that I already love ~ learning in class is exciting and fun and I am learning valuable skills that I will use for the rest of my life. Now I just have to remember all that I am learning in school. That is a task. We’ll have to see how it goes . . .
When I got to school this morning, though it’s June in Oklahoma, it wasn’t that hot. I made it to class on time (I originally thought I was going to be late, but it worked out all right). I had quite the trek from the guest parking lot to the building my classes are going to be in. The class was your typical first class – go over syllabus, introduce yourself, introduction to the web-ct policies and procedures and such. The lecture component of this class is only 50 minutes long, so it wasn’t too bad. After class I headed over to the University Center to get my parking permit for the summer. Then I remembered that I had to get a second TB test still for the fall semester, so I referenced my map and headed over to the wellness center and got that taken care of. Then I tracked down the parking lot of my nursing classes and parked my truck. I still had 3.5 hours before my next class, so I walked over to the library to do some reading for my afternoon class. The library, as it turns out, was all the way across campus. After I studied at the library, I went to the cafeteria and got lunch. I haven't eaten in a cafeteria in years! (It was kind of weird.) It was a really cool feeling just knowing that I was blessed enough to walk across a University campus on a beautiful June morning in all of God’s glorious kingdom going to nursing classes. It just felt so great to be at school – knowing that the Lord has blessed me with a brain to learn and comprehend what I learning and that even more so He has blessed me enough to go to nursing school and has given me that love of taking care of people.
Well, I am really tired and I seem to be falling asleep at the keyboard so to speak, so I think I will stop writing for now.

Here’s to going to school in the morning. [raises invisible glass to cheer] I’m glad the Lord allowed me to make it this far and has allowed me to realize the vision of going to nursing school in non-business attire in the morning.

So many musings, so little time . . .

I feel like I want to write so much . . . . blog about my first unofficial day of nursing school (my first day of class during the day), blog about Mike, blog about lots of different things, but I have neither the time or the energy. I think I might be anemic or something - I always seem to want to sleep, it's rather annoying. Anyway, now that I am writing, I seem to be drawing a blank, so I guess for now I'll close. :)