Matt 6:16-18 "Moreover, when you do fast, do not be like the hypocrites, with a sad countenance. For they disfigure their faces that they may appear to men to be fasting. Assuredly I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you do not appear to ment to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly."
Matt 6:22-23 "The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefor ethe lgiht that is i you is darknes,s how great is that darkness."
Matt 6:24 "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to one and despise the other. you cannot serve God and mammon."
I Cor 7:32-35 "But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord - how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world - how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. the unmarried woman cares about the things of hte Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world - how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction."
I have found that as Mike and I's wedding approaches, that I am thinking more and more like a married woman. I no longer have the freedom to do the things that I want to do. I must consider Mike and how he feels about this or that. I am no longer a free woman. Not just in things like buying this or that, but in Godly things as well. It's hard to explain.
Basically I feel like I am not as close to the Lord as I once was. I feel as if there is an invisible wedge that has been driven between me and the Lord and the Bible study and even how Mike and I's relationship used to be. It used to be that we lifted each up with Scripture all the time and prayed all the time together. My whole being was only how I might serve the Lord. And now I feel like it's how I might serve myself or serve the world or serve Mike. I want to go back, but I don't know how.
Moreover, I feel like my thoughts have been poisoned by impurities. I want to go back to the woman that I was when I wrote the blog about being captivated by Jesus and convicted about my purity.
I want to be pure for Christ. I want to serve Christ first. With my whole life. As I enter this new life as a married woman next month, I want to continue to put Christ in everything. It is a new way to put Christ first, I feel.
I still need to practice purity. I need to practice it more now than ever.
I talked to Thomas tonight. He was very encouraging. I shared with him some of the verses I used to say to avoid temtpation (I Cor 10:13, etc).
I need to say that over and over and over again. I Cor 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bare. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way so that you can stand up under it."
It is only by the grace of God that Mike and I have not kissed (or done anything else). Only by the grace of God. He died for us, so that we might live. The least we can do is serve Him with our whole lives.
Matt 10:38 "And he who does not take his cross and follow after me is not worthy of Me."